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Thursday, 30 November 2006

cough dropssss..

uhuk!! uhuk!!..
demam MAHA 2006.
tu la siang malam berjalan tak agak2..
ari isnin kol 12 dah tak larat..lembik sampai petang..
tawakkal je bawak kete petang tu..
dah siap mengucap kalo2 tak sempat sampai umah..

ari kames baru keje..
kepala still pusing2..jalan kena pegang dinding..
sore pun tak kuar mane..
this morning mentor aku tanya..
"dah fikir dah nak wat pe for 2nd cycle nye proposal??"
aku pun jawab..tengah fikir lagi..
pastu die buat impresssion yang kena pikir kuat2 skit..
haha!!!

memang aku try pikir pun mase demam2 tu pun..
tapi idea ntah hape2 yg kuar..
ade ke kuar dapat idea nak bina bumbung yg boleh tukar colour..
portable garrage..with intelligent roof top..
purpose die supaya rumput takla rosak..
bumbung tu boleh jadi transparent kalo takde kete kat bawah die..
kalo ade kete bawah die surface tu jadi legap..
haa..itu ilham demam,,,,,,,,,,
ade lagi idea lain..tapi ingat2 lupa..sebab makan ubat batuk n selsema..
asyik tidoooooo jerr.....

Friday, 24 November 2006

when you lost it..

it seemed like such fun
until you loose what you have won..
look what you've done
you made a fool of everyone..

i nearly lost my ummi..
that's what happenned last week.
it made think twice to disobey ummi ever again..(insyaAllah)
ummi had a stroke while having discussion with me and falah..

cant tell you the whole story..i'd rather delete it from my memory stick hehe..i stayed with ummi for almost 36 hours..i cant sleep..when ummi was sleeping i cried beside her..never felt like this before..the feeling of loosing someone you love the most..your strength, your sunshine.. everything..i went to work on Wednesday..trying to be normal, telling myself to keep it together but that evening i ended up crying my heart out..i called upon a trusted fren to stay with me..a guy actually. so he saw me crying like a baby..huhuhu..i think a had a nervous breakdown (",) but feeling better right after..

i'm okay now..ready to face all challenges..hihihi..you go girl!!

rejection..

who can stand rejection..?? pliz stand up.
definitely not me..i'm not that strong..
Rasulullah?? yes..

my sciencefund proposal was a total mess..it was rejected..
no more kickstart..instead i have to start all over again..

this is what they say about my proposal:


For durian, in view of its decreasing commercial potential
in future, suggest similar work to be carried out on more important and emerging
fruit types eg: *****,#####,%%%%%.
In future, research should focus on the crop of study or relevant discipline with sufficient detail to justify chosen area of research. REJECT.


i thought i was strong enough to face this rejection, but i ended up crying everytime i read this comment. lembik btol pempuan nie..huhuhu..that's why i post it so that i can challenge myself.

failure is the essence of success..right??

hand in my pocket

since nobody's perrrrrfect..
i kinda like this song..
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine..

Hand In My Pocket
Alanis Morissette

I'm broke but I'm happy
I'm poor but I'm kind
I'm short but I'm healthy, yeah
I'm high but I'm grounded
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five

I feel drunk but I'm sober
I'm young and I'm underpaid
I'm tired but I'm working, yeah
I care but I'm restless
I'm here but I'm really gone
I'm wrong and I'm sorry baby

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be quite alright
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is flicking a cigarette
And what it all comes down to
Is that I haven't got it all figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving the peace sign
I'm free but I'm focused
I'm green but I'm wise
I'm hard but I'm friendly baby
I'm sad but I'm laughing
I'm brave but I'm chickenshit
I'm sick but I'm pretty baby

And what it all boils down to
Is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is playing the piano
And what it all comes down to my friends
Is that everything's just fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is hailing a taxi cab

Friday, 17 November 2006

hehe..lame gile..

lama giler tak tulis blog..

this is my 1st post as a 24 years old girl (..girl??..)
banyak betul perkara berlaku..
berturut-turut..
sepanjang berlakunya kisah2 kehidupan nie..aku asyik teringat, balik ni nak tulis dalam blog la.. but in the end..sekarang pada ketika aku menaip ni semuanya hilang tiba-tiba..
ape yg boleh aku komen...semuanye memberi aku pengalaman tapi dipakejkan dlm bentuk latih tubi.. harharhar!!!

dalam banyak2 yang kat bawah nie je ada, sebab aku tulis mase tunggu majlis mula kat HILTON KL. pensil n kertas yang disediakan KELIHATAN amat menarik di samping marshmellow n gula2 yg aku takleh usik sebab aku pose hari tu..

haiyooo..

Hilton KL 14 Nov 2006
ASIAN SEED CONGRESS
aku dalam grand ballroom nie..menunggu technical session at 1030. tetiba ketua pengarah soh g..aku blur gile..pening sungguh..banyak btol mental block mental shock..segala mak nenek yang boleh mengganggu mental dan emosi aku yang tak berapa stabil.. hehee..lagi plak semenjak usia menjadi 24..huhu..takleh berlagak jadi 23 lagi la..

5 NOV birthday aku..ari kitorang seme berkumpul untuk kuching..
aku ke kuching untuk agrobiodiversity conference. aku excited gile nak join sebab 1st time beb..1st time g conference, 1st time wat poster..BUT i ended up at the reception table waiting 247 for 4 days for all speakers to hand me their presentation for the conference. whyyyyyyy?? aku nak g conference..nak dengar talk..tambahkan ilmu..terkilan giler.. memang sumer orang buli aku..aku tak PUAS HATI!!! (memang bunyi nye macam tak bersyukur..sebab banyak pengalaman aku dapat..(i thanked the organizer for that) but i have my own PRIORITY>> to attend the conference man..NOT to be tukang kutip hutang..and i'm not in the technical commitee members for GOd's sake...) bengang nie..derang sengih je.. aku sebenarnye tak tahu camane nak kata 'tak nak' bcoz aku tatau paper pasal conference. 1st time..cam aku kate tadi.. i dont know what to expect if i say No..will it be ok..?? or i will be seen as budak "malas n berkira"untuk wat keje..arghh..bengang!!! mase last day of the conference..when people have their last high-tea.. aku terperukkkk kat dalam bilik sekretariat tak habis2 lagi manage benda alah presentation tu.. tu yang aku sedih sangat..aku tak dapat nak jumpa semua orang..at least exchange contact numbers or maybe email address or anything!! ramai gile EXPERTS kat ctu..yg ntah bile bleh berjumpa lagi.. bcoz..researcher mesti ada collaboration..n aku ni selalu berat mulut nak bertanya..aku ingat mase tu la bleh lebarkan lagi research network aku yg sememangnye sekangkang kera nie..huhuhu..bile aku keluar (dengan niat nak rasa la ckit sajian kat luar tu..seme orang dah takde..meja pun dah dikemas..) hancur btul hati ni..sekeping gambar pun aku takde mase conference tu..gambar dgn my 1st poster..boleh tak?? just bcoz i dont hav the time..
jangan tak tahu..aku siap kena marah dengan chairperson kat atas pentas tu..sebab AJK teknikal lambat siapkan seme2 benda n dah lambat..nak menitis dah air mata aku mase tu..camane rupe aku tatau la..

kesimpulannya..aku dapat 30% je penghayatan conference..sebab lagi 70% aku dok kat luar dewan..n sumtime dok dalam dewan tapi fikiran aku dok fikir mane la encik ni, Dr. tu, Dato' ni, Prof tu..
Responsibility>> eventhough that task is not my responsibility..i took it bcoz i am a responsible person..n i did my best..(with lack of experience..ade gak presentation yg tetiba hilang.. hehehe)

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pssstt... ade sorang mamat ni..sweet smile..suka plak..hehe. jupe mase g field trip, naik satu bus. dapat la sembang 20 saat dengan die..rajin die attend conference. sebab conference hall tu bukan sentiasa penuh pun..tapi every session die mesti ade. unfortunately, sampai sudah aku tak tahu nama die, dari institusi mane..hahah!! ello mystery guy..apsal suka pakai nametag terbalik..?? kwang3x!!!!!!

fakta maya@kuching:
  • blum rasa laksa sarawak
  • blum rasa umai sarawak
  • blum amek gambaq kat patung kucing kat kuching.. (azuan janji nak tolong amek..haram die ingat..huhu)